Word Meds: Is Living in the Moment Totally Overrated?

"Some people in my life don't want me to zone out so much. They want me to be in the moment... Don't bother. The moment is mediocre at best." —John Mulaney

If you've been following Crunch Time Word Meds over the past few weeks, you know I've been obsessed with "the moment." Being in it, or not being in it, and trying to stay present, and struggling to fight off all the constant distractions that keep us from noticing what's going on right this second. And so on. So let's switch it up this week, shall we?

My husband and I were watching "Night of Too Many Stars," the John Stewart-hosted comedy special and autism benefit on HBO. The special, most of it anyway, is hilarious, and it helps fund an outstanding cause too. The show also introduced me to the very funny John Mulaney, a stand-up comedian whose credits include SNL and The Comeback Kid. During his comedy bit on the HBO special, Mulaney went on about this whole "living in the moment" business. And he blew a huge hole in the idea that we should all be trying desperately to live in the moment at all times. His was a badly needed, albeit tongue-in-cheek, contrarian view on this subject, since I've been beating myself up for constantly failing to grab the moment before it flies away, again and again. Have you?

Anyway I'm still trying to LIVE IN THE MOMENT, damn it. But meanwhile, here's a little more of Mulaney's you're-off-the-hook bit: 

"All day long I wander into traffic walking like Charlie Chaplin, listening to a podcast while thinking about a different podcast... Let's all try right now. Let's all be in the moment in silence right now. Sucked, right? That was boring. You've got to zone out. You have an imagination. You have a movie theater in your brain that plays fake arguments that you win."

For more from Mulaney and a huge A-list roster of comedians including John Oliver, Stephen Colbert, Sarah Silverman, Samantha Bee, Billy Crystal, and dozens of others, check out the HBO special, and find out how to donate to excellent autism programs that need everyone's support.

Photo by Eric Nopanen via Unsplash.

Meghan Markle Is 36 and Engaged to Prince Harry: Cue the Handwringing

Predictably, it was only a matter of minutes (seconds?) between the announcement that Prince Harry is engaged to 36-year-old American actress Meghan Markle, and the tsunami of comments about Markle's ticking biological clock.

It's too bad the following points need to be made at all, but here we go: 

• Markle's decision about when or if or how to have kids with Prince Harry is her business, and both of theirs, and that's all. What we said about Gwen Stefani, and every other over-scrutinized celebrity of advanced  maternal age, still stands: Leave her ALONE already. 
• Should Markle decide to have one or more kids in her late 30s or 40s, she can make that decision in her own time, and she has plenty of options. 
• Going on about Markle's "advanced maternal age," without mentioning that Prince Harry is fast approaching 35 himself, is insulting. Even though women are the child-bearers, both women and men over 35 should be aware of the potential factors and risks they might face in bringing a human into the world—and this is not intended to alarm anyone, since "advanced age" parenthood is a more popular and viable option than ever before. And parental age brings its own benefits too. In any case, we're guessing the new royal couple are smart and informed and don't need nasty, judgmental, "concerned" gawkers, thanks very much.  

Moving on: The only upside to this public handwringing about Markle's age, and the suddenly rampant speculation about her pregnancy plans, would be if it raised awareness about maternal health issues that women of all ages can face—especially in the U.S., which has a shockingly high rate of maternal mortality, actually the worst maternal death rate in the developed world.

In fact, the U.K., Markle's soon-to-be home, is improving its maternal health outcomes at a much faster rate than the U.S.: In Britain, according to the medical journal The Lancet, "a man is more likely to die while his partner is pregnant than she is." Meanwhile in the U.S., the maternal death rate went up by a staggering 26 percent between 2000 and 2014 (see link above for more). So let's focus on the important health-related issues that we can actually work together to solve, taking the U.K. as an inspiration and a concrete example of how this is possible. And let's leave the waste-of-time B.S. for another day, can we?

BTW: Romper just posted a great piece about the Markle debacle, and why everyone needs to back off. Definitely worth the five-minute read.

Photo by Mark Jones via Wikimedia Commons.

Word Meds: Hanging on to the Present Moment

"Life is available only in the present moment. If you abandon the present moment you cannot live the moments of your daily life deeply."—Thich Nhat Hanh

Words to meditate on this Monday, for those of us who are always, always, always trying to remember to grab the present moment and hold on tight. And not even steal a tiny sideways glance at our phone. The struggle continues. But words like that are a reminder of why it's worth it, and why nothing matters nearly as much.

Central Park, NYC photo by Matthew Pla on Unsplash.

Word Meds: On Challenge, Anguish, and Beauty

Today, after trying to absorb the tragedy that happened in Sutherland Springs, Texas—and all the unfathomable tragedies we've been facing at a seemingly accelerated pace lately—I was reminded of a certain holiday card I keep stashed in a drawer. It's a little early in the season for holiday cards (and it's been eons since our family has gotten our act together to send out any), but this card is worth a revisit. I got it in the mail a few years ago from the Zen Mountain Monastery in upstate New York, and it's survived round after round of apartment-decluttering, and various partially-but-only-partially successful attempts to throw out old notes, greetings and miscellaneous bits of paper.

This mass-mailed postcard always seems to get rescued in mid-air on the way to the recycling bin. In case it resonates with you (especially these days?), here's your electronic version, so you don't have to make room for it in a storage box or on a shelf, or anywhere at all.

“Dear Friend: As we witness and engage the many challenges and expressions of anguish in our world, may we also see the joy and inexpressible beauty in all life. May we strengthen our commitment to this world, and allow our lives to be of benefit to all we encounter, providing examples of selfless compassion and wisdom. In deep respect, Shugen Sensei, Ryushin Sensei, Zen Mountain Monastery, Mount Tremper, NY.”