Footloose, Kid-Free, and Anxious You'll Regret It? This Writer Doesn't

Some of us never thought we'd want kids, then got blindsided by our late-30s impulse to give it a shot. (Whoa, we're parents now?!) Others always knew they'd have children, and so here they are now, busy managing the sweet, messy lives of one or two or three or more small humans. Many have always wanted kids, but life circumstances got in the way. And then there are those people who never wanted kids, their initial instinct always burning bright, eventually solidifying into a decision, a fact on the ground, intentionally or by default. How are they doing now? Chances are if they never felt tortured by ambivalence, they're still happy about their choice, fully in their element, embracing life's adventures, and thriving in their non-parent lifestyles.

Sure, it's possible to regret a decision that always felt right, until the moment when you start wondering if you'd make a different decision now, given the choice, but you can no longer do so. But it's also possible to never regret that decision at all. Many of us relate to this, because while we're crazy about our kids and find them absolutely terrific (for at least 12-63 percent of any given day), deciding not to become a parent can be terrific too, as Emmy Award-winning writer Teresa Elliott hilariously attests in this essay on NextTribe.

"My third husband," Elliott writes, "was a sweet, sweet man who would have made a wonderful father, but by then I was too old. I have to admit that for the first time I imagined what a child of mine/ours would be like: kind, smart, beautiful, quirky but not weird-quirky, and eager to make enough money so his/her parents wouldn’t have to worry a whit during their golden years."

[Pause for vociferous nodding.]

"But anyway," she continues, "that’s not necessarily how it turns out, is it Mr. & Mrs. Ted Bundy, Sr.?"

Read Elliott's funny, sincere, self-aware essay, titled "I Forgot to Have Kids... On Purpose," for more on what it's like to stay true to an impulse you've always had, and face down all the pressure, and do it with no regrets, no bitterness, no self-flagellation, and no FOMO.

Photo above of woman (not author Teresa Elliott) by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash.